For me it is the fact that maybe, just maybe, teaching is not for me. It's funny that I say this because I am only on my second year of teaching high school Spanish and it seems that I should be enjoying what I do, right? Well, if you know where I come from then you'll know that I didn't necessarily grow up dreaming of teaching/coaching. It sort of just happened under the circumstances I was in. To tell you the truth growing up I actually told myself I'd never be a teacher and here I am today doing exactly what I said I wouldn't do. But how did I get here? And why do I not enjoy it?
I went to college on a track/cross country scholarship and all I wanted to do was run and never did it really occur to me that one day I would have to actually get a job after graduation. All that I wanted to do was run. So when I was about in my second year in college I really had to think about what it was that I wanted to do for the rest of my life. One of the things that made most sense to me was to teach and coach in high school. I figured since I was fluent in spanish I could teach that and coach cross country and track. Unfortunately, I don't seem to enjoy much of what I do. My first job (my current job) is teaching Spanish and coaching two sports that I have almost no knowledge about but I have to do them anyway. Maybe part of my discontent is the fact that I don't get to teach the sports that I do enjoy. But I think the main reason I do not enjoy teaching is the students
Yes, students. Was I as bad as some of the kids these days? Did I have no respect for my teachers? I hope that I was a good kid because it seems lately that they don't want to do anything of what you ask them to do and they want to get away with doing the least possible. Not all kids are this way, of course, but the ones that do behave this way make teaching miserable. It gets so bad that I just wan to quit already and do something else. That's another problem. I don't even know if I can necessarily do anything else in which it doesn't require any more schooling or certifications. Financially I'm somewhat stable and I don't care too much for the money, although right now my job provides me with the resources to pay off some debts that I have. That's one reason why I feel I have to stay put right now is so I can pay off what I owe and become debt free.
Sometimes I wish that I could approach my situation in a positive way to where I can enjoy my job. There are some small ways that could help me improve it and I want to work on that because I want to be content and enjoy it while I am here. In my mind I know that eventually I would like to do something else but in the meantime I'll have to stay here.